Bayonetta vs The Slayer Gang
by Insieme per la vittoria
Summary: Bayonetta has been told to eliminate Buffy and Willow, a job she really doesn't want to do. Meanwhile, Buffy and the gang struggle to beat their mysterious new enemy. Will Bayonetta find a way out of killing them, or will the two sides have to battle to the death?
1. Bayonetta is Hired

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Bayonetta.**

Bayonetta sat in the bar dubbed the Gates of Hell, or the dump as she liked to call it. The proprietor, Rodin, stood behind the counter, shaking a drink for her. Enzo sat off to the side, slurring from all the alcohol he had already consumed. Bayonetta twirled her gun, one of the Scarborough Fare, a set of four guns powered by magic.

Rodin rested the drink on the table. "So, the gist of it is, that you've got some pressure comin' in from the demons who pay the rent for you."

Bayonetta took a sip. "They're demons. They aren't happy unless they're eating someone."  
Rodin smirked. "Which brings me to my point. Have you ever heard of a small town in California called Sunnydale?"  
Bayonetta finished her drink, placing the empty glass close to Rodin in a sign that she wanted a refill.  
"A bit. Demon's paradise, I believe. As close to Inferno as that awful island was to Paradiso?"  
Rodin nodded, having already refilled her drink. "Well, thing is, there's these people there messin' up the works. A vampire slayer named Buffy, and a witch named Willow are the two most threatening. Willow is only beginning now, but the boys downstairs can feel her power, and they don't like it."

Bayonetta gulped her drink in a most unladylike fashion. "So I'm guessing I have to go and kill these people or the friendly demon landlords will throw a tantrum."  
Rodin nodded, refilling her drink again. "Right on, babe."  
Bayonetta rolled her eyes. "Do you have my weapons?"  
Rodin nodded, smirking. "And these babies are one big symphony if I do say so myself."  
Rodin brought out Bayonetta's soul devouring katana, followed by her lightning and fire greaves, and her demonic whip.

Bayonetta finished her last drink, smiling. "Seems like ridiculous overkill, but who knows. So, this slayer. Will she be any problem?"

Buffy stood in front of the mirror, wearing her black top. "Oh, fooey. This used to fit me."  
Buffy removed the top and tossed it onto the bed. "I didn't do my hair properly either. I'll look like a total garbage lady."  
Willow stepped up next to Buffy. "Now that's an exaggeration. You just don't fit that top because you've gotten older. And your hair is fine."  
Buffy mopingly glared at her reflection. "It doesn't fit anymore because I've gained so much weight from eating too much."  
Willow gripped Buffy's shoulder. "Now, don't think like that. I shake my finger at you in a disappointed fashion for thinking like that."

Buffy and Willow sat in the Bronze afterwards. Xander danced on the dance floor in a rather idiotic fashion, bumping into everyone like a clumsy drunk. He had recently had a fight with Anya, and was unsuccessfully trying to hide it. None of them noticed the woman in the tight black leather, who sat at the bar drinking a pale pink drink out of a tiny glass.

The woman fondled a large red gun under the bar, while getting the feel for the identical guns that were attached to the back of each of her stilettos. As she finished her drink, she turned to leave the bar, winking at the young man who served at the bar in a somewhat seductive fashion. She then headed directly towards the unsuspecting Buffy and Willow.

As Bayonetta headed across the room, Xander bumped into her. "Hey there. Can I have you?"  
Bayonetta glared at Xander, and he changed his wording. "Sorry. I mean, can I dance with you?"  
Bayonetta chuckled. "I'm sure you're a nice young man, but a certain amount of style is required to be on my arm."  
Bayonetta shoved Xander aside, and continued to head for Buffy and Willow. As Bayonetta reached her target, Xander, who was still looking at her, saw her readying a gun, and ran across the room, yelling out.

Everything that happened next happened very quickly. Xander reached Bayonetta, and was hit in the face and launched across the club. Buffy and Willow both jumped up, and Bayonetta jumped into the air, firing bullets at them. Buffy dropped to the floor, helpless against the bullets, but Willow created a magic shield and deflected the bullets. Bayonetta dropped to the floor, and slammed her foot into Willow's shield, smashing a hole into it, and jumping through.

As Bayonetta got inside the shield, Buffy jumped up to fight her, but was kicked in the face with such force as to slam her against the wall of the club, smashing several teeth out of her mouth in the process. Buffy recovered, but was struck by Bayonetta's fist, which Buffy realised had cracked her skull. As Buffy collapsed, unconscious, Bayonetta slammed her foot into Willow, knocking the weaker witch unconscious in an instant. As the shield dissipated, Xander ran to Willow, checking her, before running to help Buffy.

Bayonetta stood off to the side, phasing herself into Purgatorio, watching as Xander called to the club workers to call an ambulance. Bayonetta lowered her head, feeling guilty that she had attacked a human. An action that she hated doing, no matter the motivation. Bayonetta left the club, planning to tell the demons that the slayer and the witch were hurt, and try to persuade the demons not to make her kill them.


	2. Prepare For Round Two

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Bayonetta.**

Buffy lay in the hospital bed with Xander, Willow and Giles beside her. She had been injured by the woman, but her head had not been too badly damaged.  
"Buffy, what you are describing fits with no known records of any demon. This woman's strength, the way Xander says she just vanished…"

The nurse stepped into the room, holding two X-rays. She moved over to Buffy, looking surprised.  
"Now this is unbelievable. When you came in twelve hours ago, your head had a crack in it. Now, that crack is almost completely gone. I'd like to keep you in for observation, but the truth is you can go."

Buffy, Giles and Xander looked through the books in Giles' home. So far there were no demons that even resembled this woman.  
Off to the side, Willow and Tara looked through records on Willow's laptop. In the corner sat Anya, looking like she had no idea what was happening.  
Suddenly, Giles started. "Could it be?"  
The rest of them leaned over to Giles, to see that his book was open to the section on werewolves.  
"Uh, Giles... This woman wasn't furry."  
Giles shook his head. "No. I reached the werewolf page, and remembered that werewolves change at the full moon. That somehow sent my mind to thinking about an ancient clan of dark witches, whose powers grew even stronger at the full moon."

Giles jumped up, heading to the shelf and pulling out a book that looked older than time itself. He opened it, skimming through until he found what he was looking for. "Here we are!"  
The others gathered around to see the book, to discover it was written in an unreadable language.  
Giles read quickly, before translating out loud.  
"There once existed two great clans that served as overseers of the just passage of time for the Powers That Be: The Umbra Witches, dwellers of the darkness, and the Lumen Sages, rulers of light. The two clans payed each other great respect, and under their rule, the balance endured for centuries."

The others glared at Giles. "This woman didn't oversee anything, Giles. She just kicked."  
Willow piped up. "And that woman wasn't a witch either. Witches don't use guns."  
Giles shook his head. "Wait. There's more."  
Giles read on. "One day, that balance was toppled. The two clans began to war with each other, throwing Europe into ruin. Despite the tremendous radiance of God shining upon them, the Lumen Sages proved too predictable to match the secretive dark witches, and years after the peace was shattered, the war ended in the favour of the Umbra Witches. However, humans began to condemn the remaining Umbra. They launched the witch hunts, rounding up the witches with little resistance. Human belief in the powers of God and the evils of witchcraft pushed the witch hunts further, and the Umbra Witches, keepers of the darkness, were extinguished from the Earth. All but one."

Giles lowered the book, looking up at the cynical young people that sat around him.  
Buffy glared. "That sounds like a fairy tale. Who wrote that?"  
Giles put the book down. "This was written by a man who didn't give a name, probably because he'd be condemned for writing it, but other things he wrote in this very book have been proven correct. This book is one of the few that references the two clans, as their records were expunged just as they were."  
Xander suddenly said jovially, "So you think she's the one that got away, huh?"

Giles glared at Xander briefly. "The one who… got away… was called Jeanne, according to this."

Buffy shook her head briefly. "It doesn't matter what her name is. You said humans killed these witches in the witch hunts. That means she can be killed. Any advice on how?"  
Giles shrugged slightly. "Well, the machines used to kill witches were horrific. Iron Maidens were among the worst. They filled the convicted witch with holes. If her kind were killed with devices like that, then she can die as a human can, but she is probably more capable of surviving physical damage."

Buffy narrowed her eyes, showing that he was speaking gibberish to her.  
Giles rolled his eyes. "She will be hard to hurt, but it seems sharp weapons are the way to go."

Bayonetta stood in front of the swirl of demonic matter.  
"The girls are badly hurt, and they won't be a problem for a while."  
The swirl thickened, and several heads poked out. One of them spoke.  
"The slayer is a threat, and the witch is worse! Why did you not kill them?"

Bayonetta tightened her jaw, regaining her composure. "They aren't any threat. They were weak."  
One of the demons reached out and gripped Bayonetta by the throat, pulling her forward and glaring into her face. Bayonetta could have shoved him off, but to do so would risk the demons taking her to Hell on the spot. The demon tightened his grip, and Bayonetta ignored the pain, glaring back at him.  
"You will kill both of them! Otherwise we will kill you! Now kill that damned slayer!"

The demon faded back to Inferno, his massive clawed hand vanishing from her neck. Bayonetta rubbed her neck briefly. "Well, I tried."


	3. Round Two Begins

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bayonetta or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.**

Buffy walked through the darkened alleys, ready with her knife and stake. As she heard a noise behind her, she turned, ready to stab her attacker. Instead, Spike stood behind her, and she lowered the knife, sighing with a mixture of relief and annoyance.  
"Spike. What the hell are you doing here?"  
"Heard you were going hunting for an Umbra Witch. Know which one it is yet?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes in confusion, only listening because she sensed that Spike knew something that Giles' book hadn't told them. "I don't know. She was big with slutty black hair and this annoying femme fatale voice. Had guns on her feet… Total skank, and there's no way that hair was natural, and don't even get me started on those huge hips…"  
"Bayonetta." Interjected Spike, actually looking a bit concerned.

Back at Giles' place, there was a knock on the door. Giles went to it, Xander close behind him. Expecting to find Spike there, Giles was shocked when the lock suddenly burst, and a tall woman in black leather stepped in, pointing a gun at Giles' face. Xander raised an axe to attack Bayonetta, but she shot the axe head, knocking the weapon from his grip. Bayonetta then punched both Xander and Giles, knocking them out.

Willow and Tara stood back, Willow readying a spell to try to attack Bayonetta.  
"Ares, god of war and bloodshed, I beseech thee. Render the being that attacks me powerless, and allow me to destroy her with my own hands."  
Bayonetta chuckled, feeling the spell fizzle out as Willow failed to affect her at all.  
"Is that it, child?"

Willow and Tara clasped hands. "Gods of Olympus, gods of the world, we beseech you hear our call, and destroy this evil being in the name of all that is pure."  
Bayonetta pulled out her pistol, firing a shot into Tara's knee, staggering her. Bayonetta then activated Witch Time, freezing time in place. Bayonetta casually walked forward, tossing the prone Tara to one side to focus on Willow. Bayonetta gripped Willow by the neck, and then released the passage of time.

Willow gasped to see that Bayonetta had defeated Tara and caught her in an instant, or so it seemed to Willow. Bayonetta smirked, cocking her gun and pointing it at Willow's nose.  
"And you call yourself a witch? Times have changed since the Umbra were killed. In those days, you'd be killed by the Umbra if you tried to impersonate one of them."  
Bayonetta started to squeeze the trigger, while sweat ran down the terrified Willow's face. The gunshot that was fired echoed up and down the street, all the way to Buffy and Spike.

Buffy and Spike charged into Giles' place, finding the place trashed, Tara, Xander and Giles on the floor, and Willow leaning against the wall, choking back sobs. Buffy ran to Willow.  
"Willow, what happened?"  
Willow cleared her face. "Bayonetta. She beat us all, and…"  
Willow passed out, and Buffy noticed a nasty bruise on the back of her head, where Bayonetta had hit her. Buffy also noticed the bullet hole in the wall, where Bayonetta had deliberately missed Willow.

Outside Buffy's house, Buffy sat with Spike, listening to Joyce and Giles inside.  
Spike broke the silence first. "This is the second time she's beaten your group of friends and then left without finishing the job. You think you know why?"  
Buffy nodded grimly, her jaw tightening with determination. "She's playing with me. She wants a proper fight. I'll give her one."

Down at the Gates of Hell, Bayonetta sat with Rodin.  
"So you chose not to kill her?"  
Bayonetta twirled her gun. "Well I can't kill all of them, now can I?"  
Rodin leaned across the bar. "I tried to argue your case, but the boys downstairs are adamant they want these two girls to join them for tea. I couldn't convince them otherwise. You have no choice. Either do the crime, or do the time."  
Bayonetta holstered her gun. "The general saying is do the crime AND do the time."  
Rodin chuckled. "Argue all you want, but the fact is, the slayer and her little witch die, or hell takes you back. It's them or you, sweetie."

Bayonetta stood to leave, but Rodin told her to wait, his jovial mood gone.  
"They won't let you get away with it again. You come back having failed to kill these girls this time, our infernal friends arrive to take your ass home. Last chance, Bayonetta. If you wanna live, kill them this time. No excuses. I can't argue your case again."


	4. Time To Settle This!

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Bayonetta.**

Buffy and the others stood in the cemetery, waiting for Bayonetta to turn up. Willow had readied some magic, which, unbeknownst to all except Tara, were very dark. Bayonetta could certainly feel that magic from a mile away.

Bayonetta stepped into the cemetery, seeing the group waiting for her. Bayonetta moved into the open, so that the group could see her. Just as Buffy readied a crossbow, Bayonetta phased herself into Purgatorio, vanishing from the group's sight. As Bayonetta started to move forward, Spike stepped up to her, swinging his fist straight through her.

Spike followed her, and she realised he could see her. Bayonetta picked up a tombstone, slamming it into Spike's face, knocking the vampire unconscious. Buffy flung a stake at Bayonetta, and Bayonetta dodged it, realising that the stake could hurt her, even in Purgatorio. Bayonetta activated Witch Time, freezing everyone on the spot. She moved forward, shoving Xander and Giles into tombstones, which would knock them out.

As Bayonetta reached Willow, she raised her gun, about to kill Willow, when suddenly Willow twitched her hand, and dozens of tombstones flew from all directions, slamming into Bayonetta. Willow then caused the ground to attack Bayonetta, but Bayonetta jumped into the air, turning into a swarm of bats, before reappearing beside Willow, shooting her in the leg. Bayonetta then picked Willow up, flinging her into a tombstone.

Willow stood, sending a series of knives flying point first towards Bayonetta. Bayonetta shot most of the knives out of the air, before dodging the remaining ones. Willow then created a barrier around Bayonetta, holding her still, and then fired lightning onto her, burning her badly. Bayonetta smirked. "That's rather painful, my dear."

Bayonetta struggled against the barrier, breaking it down with sheer force. She then ran to Willow, as Willow attacked with a blast of dark magic, which Bayonetta dodged by turning into a swarm of bats.

Bayonetta then reformed in front of Willow, kicking her in the face. Before the injured Willow could recover, Bayonetta summoned an iron maiden, which appeared behind Willow. Just as the dazed Willow realised there was something behind her, Bayonetta kicked Willow in the stomach, launching her into the iron maiden. As Willow struggled to get out of the iron maiden, the doors slammed by themselves, trapping her inside.

As the iron maiden blew up, Bayonetta deactivated Witch Time, turning to face Buffy.

Buffy realised that Willow was gone, and knew what must have happened. Fighting back tears, Buffy attacked Bayonetta, only to be kicked into the air, where Bayonetta wrapped a noose around her neck. Just as Buffy was almost suffocated, the noose released her, and she fell into another iron maiden, which slammed shut.

Bayonetta watched as the demons devoured the slayer and the witch she had brought them. The demon leaned out of the portal, glaring at her. "Now that wasn't so hard, now was it? Don't test our patience next time. Remember who is in charge, witch. You cannot evade your duty to us."

As the demons faded, two iron maidens appeared from nowhere beside Bayonetta, opening to release Buffy and Willow. "What's happened here?" Cried Buffy, unable to believe she was alive.  
Bayonetta faced the two girls. "I managed to get iron maidens that were without spikes, and I gave the demons another witch and another slayer. Or a potential slayer with her potential activated by a little trick of Rodin's."

Buffy started. "Who?"  
Bayonetta smirked. "Let's just say they'll both fit right in in hell."  
As Bayonetta left, Buffy called after her. "Why did you do this to save us?"  
Bayonetta turned, popping a lollipop into her mouth. "Just be grateful I did."  
Bayonetta then fazed herself into Purgatorio, vanishing from view.


	5. Back For More

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bayonetta or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.**

Bayonetta sat in the Gates of Hell, sipping her pink drink. Rodin smirked at her.  
"Our Infernal friends actually believe you gave them the right people. Who did you give them anyway?"  
Bayonetta finished her drink, placing the glass close to Rodin in an unspoken request for a refill.  
"Another, rather evil witch named Amy Madison, and a potential slayer who was homicidal. They won't be missed, trust me."

Rodin smirked as he refilled her drink.  
"Right on, babe. Beautiful!"  
Off to the side, Enzo jumped up, falling off his seat. Rodin and Bayonetta gave him a disinterested look, before looking away again.  
"It seems there's a new someone in the ol' Dale that come from a rather dark circle of Inferno. Glorificus, I believe. The partners in Infernal crime want you to eliminate Glorificus. She's immortal by human standards, but then so am I. You can kill her with those masterpieces I made for you."

Buffy stood in the warehouse, untying the monk. Behind her a blonde haired woman stepped slowly up behind her, and Buffy turned gripping the woman's throat, only to be thrown across the warehouse. Suddenly the door Buffy had entered through was filled by a woman with jet black hair, dressed in tight black leather. Bayonetta was back.

Ignoring Buffy, Glory stepped up to Bayonetta, grabbing her by the arm. "Hey! You don't get in my way unless you have a death wish! I'm great, and you're weak!"  
Glory slammed her fist into Bayonetta's face, but Bayonetta didn't even move with the impact.  
"Weak, am I? You know, I realise that by this world's standards you're a god, but to the Umbra, you're really not even a witch. Even Cheshire hits harder than that. Not Enzo, though."

Glory picked Bayonetta up, flinging her into the wall with adequate force to break it apart. Bayonetta stood from the rubble. "Now, that almost hurt. I think it's my turn now."

Bayonetta froze time, and began slamming her barrels into Glory's face, firing shots as she did. Glory was clearly bulletproof, but Bayonetta could do better than bullets. Holstering her guns, Bayonetta readied her katana, slashing Glory with it. Deep cuts soon covered Glory's body, but Glory still held fast. Finally, Bayonetta released the passage of time.

Glory attacked Bayonetta with her fists, but Bayonetta kept pace, displaying less speed but far greater skill and strength. Finally bored, Bayonetta gripped Glory's neck, squeezing so hard as to feel the god's bones bend. Bayonetta then hit Glory repeatedly, each hit shaking Glory to the core, before throwing the bleeding and dazed god away.

Bayonetta then summoned her black dragon, and it proceeded to grip Glory, chomping on her. Glory withstood the bites, and was still alive when the dragon faded. Bayonetta then summoned her Phantom Spider, and it in turn summoned a horde of its kind, which gripped Glory from all sides, opening up a portal to Inferno, where the other infernal demons would tear Glory apart.

Buffy stood and watched as this happened, having freed the monk.  
"Well, guess we know who's stronger."  
Bayonetta turned to regard Buffy. "Well, there you are again. That would be the second time I've saved your arse."  
Buffy shook her head. "I would've fought my way out of it."  
Bayonetta twirled her gun. "She was pretty pathetic, but you are little more than a child."  
Buffy smirked. "I don't know what people are talking about. That outfit doesn't make you look like an exotic hooker."


	6. Epilogue

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Bayonetta or Buffy the Vampire Slayer.**

Buffy stood in Willy's Place with Spike and Bayonetta. Someone had been causing her trouble, and she hoped to find out who.  
"So Spike, who do we kill for information?"  
Bayonetta shoved forward.  
"First time interrogating someone?"

Bayonetta stepped up to the largest demon in the bar, punching him unconscious in a single hit.  
A demon moved to leave, and Bayonetta fired a shot into the floor right next to his foot.  
"Good evening, my lovelies. Does anyone know anything about spell casters in the area? Anything that also involves a black van would be nice."

The three stepped outside, having heard nothing of any use.  
Spike looked annoyed. "I was gonna ask nicely, not shoot the place up."  
Bayonetta shrugged. "My way was faster."  
Spike started. "We got nothing."

Buffy spotted the black van. "Maybe not."  
As Buffy started to head towards the van, a large red demon stepped out. As the van started to leave, Bayonetta froze time, running forward and ripping the van open. Inside sat Warren and another nerd. Bayonetta pulled them out just as she released the flow of time.  
"No amount of speed can outrun time stop, my dears."

As Andrew began to cry, Bayonetta gripped his jaw, holding his mouth shut.  
"Now, first off, if I'm going to be your captor, we have to lay some ground rules. No cockroaches or crying babies. Seeing as how you cry like a baby, and all three of you somewhat remind me of a cockroach, you'd better behave yourselves, or there'll be utter hell to pay for all of us."


End file.
